My previous post on how to deal with a psychopath was quite personal.
The psychopath did push all my buttons, and I did lose my cool. It was not the wises thing to do.
But my situation was specific. My father was the victim of the psychopath, not me. I needed him to wake up and see what she was doing.
I was lucky that my approach worked, but I am aware that it might not be a useful tactic for many.
Especially if you are dealing with a violent psychopath.
See, psychopaths love to win. They will not ever give up until the victory is theirs. Until you are destroyed, broken down emotionally, mentally, spiritually. They love to see you suffer. It’s so much fun for them.
So, don’t ever try to win an argument with a psychopath. Don’t even start an argument with a psychopath. You will lose.
I scanned through the comments on this blog. I did not read them all and I apologize for that to readers who are well-intentioned and who wanted to share their experience. (Thanks for sharing!)
I noticed that a psychopath commented. Of course. They will come to read my blog and they will comment. Probably to tell me how I am a low-life and how I know nothing about psychopathy.
For this reason, I won’t even read those comments.
I blocked one user who had quite a few mean comments, judging only by their first sentences. But I left the comments for you to see and examine the way that psychopaths behave. Those comments provide good examples of how they try to provoke people to get them upset.
When you are the one being provoked, don’t give them that satisfaction to even think about what they are saying. Just ignore.
That’s my number one tip on dealing with psychopaths. Just walk away. If it’s someone you can get away from, just go. Sing a tune to yourself and act like they’re not even there.
Of course, there are more complicated, even dangerous situations. So here are some more tips.
A psychopath is usually interested in you because you have something they need. They only associate with people who can provide something for them: money, sex, a good reputation, or just some fun times. Think about what it is that you provide to the psychopath and slowly start behaving like you are no longer able to provide it.
For example, if you are a parent or a sugar-daddy to the psychopath, start living like you have less and less money until you reach “bankruptcy”. The idea is that you become uninteresting to them.
If you are a trophy-girlfriend, slowly make yourself look as unattractive as possible. If your relationship is “dynamic” with constant fighting and bursts of jealousy, start being boring to him and wait for him to leave the relationship. That way he will leave you alone for good.
Think about a predator and its pray. What do the animals do when they want to be left alone? They turn around and play dead. Some of them even start smelling bad. That’s exactly what you want to do! 🙂
Remember, the sensitive approach does not work with a psychopath. Don’t try to explain to him how you feel. Don’t ask of him to understand and apologize. Don’t apologize yourself. All this means nothing.
He will let you get back on your feet, only to strike you down again. He enjoys that.
And, what’s very important, don’t try to get back at him. Forget about revenge. Forget about beating him at his own game. Forget about lying, cheating and playing other dirty games. This way the situation will only get worse. He will never allow himself to be beaten. He will have the last laugh.
Psychopaths are lying and cheating their whole lives. Nobody does it better than them.
Another important tip- do not humiliate the psychopath. Ok, maybe this is not the right choice of words because psychopaths have no shame so they don’t really know what humiliation is. What I meant is don’t put them down. Do not act superior. (Know that you are superior, but do not show it). This could be really dangerous, because there is not a single thing that can enrage a psychopath more.
Don’t do this, don’t do that. So what is it that you should do?
Be happy on the inside. Be a confident, content human being who needs no drama, who provides no drama.
One psychopath said that these kind of people are “invisible” to him.
And when the tension between the two of you is gone, when you feel like you can breathe again and you can finally go on with your life, cut all contact with him.
Never look back, never feel like a victim anymore.
Just take it as a big life lesson. And be grateful.