Many people believe that psychopaths can change. Usually, it is the people who love a psychopath (sociopath) and who desperately cling to this idea. And, usually, they know very little about psychopathy itself.
It is such a common picture: a beat-up woman, living with a monster psychopath, tries to find excuses for him and to convince people that he can be very caring and loving. She forgives him, never giving up hope that she can rescue his poor soul, that he will realize how much she is hurting and suddenly change for the better.
It’s because a normal person cannot comprehend that the “caring and loving” side is actually the mask, which is on non-stop except for the nightmarish moments when it slips and the true personality “shines trough”.
The victims of psychopaths are usually more compassionate than an average human, and more vulnerable. My heart aches for them. To trust people so and to end up meeting the darkest corners of a human soul, I find that very tragic.
On the other hand, I learned not to pity the psychopaths. I have nothing but disgust for them. I would put them all on a secluded island and let them destroy each other. The world would not be perfect without them, but the benefits would be enormous.
Scientist say that psychopaths can’t be changed. That their brain is wired in a wrong way. That almost makes it not their fault that they are heartless. Psychopaths love this idea. They generally hate taking responsibility for their actions.
But we also know for a fact that psychopaths are not mentally disturbed. They are not delusional and they are not stupid. They can easily understand when another living being is being hurt and they could refrain themselves from purposefully inflicting pain on them. If only they wanted to.
Unfortunately, they do not want to. And they don’t want to change a thing about themselves-they are in love with themselves. Not only do they see themselves as great, they believe that they are perfect. Why would anyone want to change that? They see other people as idiots. They do not even hear others, let alone think about the criticisms that some “idiots” expect them to act upon.
But things are not that simple, because sometimes they do exactly what others ask of them. Everything comes down to: what they can gain from others. They pretend to make a compromise to achieve their goal. Once people believe that they are changed, they strike again. Kind of like a mutated virus.
Their true, evil self remains unchanged. It can only be “improved”-they can become better manipulators and regain the trust of their victims.
In his book Without Conscience, Dr. Robert Hare claims that psychopath mellow down with age. They get tired of scamming and manipulating, so to speak. But who wants to wait for decades for these lowlifes to become (or appear to be) decent people?
Don’t ever let yourself be fooled. I know exactly how it might feel: you question yourself as a human being, hate being so cold and distanced, while the psychopath is putting the show of “caring and loving”. Always remind yourself that you are being laughed at behind your back by this monster who values nothing in this life and only looks for ways to satisfy his/her needs. Like a beast. Or a robot. Or a f^%%$ virus.