Can Psychopaths Change?

Many people believe that psychopaths can change. Usually, it is the people who love a psychopath (sociopath) and who desperately cling to this idea. And, usually, they know very little about psychopathy itself.

It is such a common picture: a beat-up woman, living with a monster psychopath, tries to find excuses for him and to convince people that he can be very caring and loving. She forgives him, never giving up hope that she can rescue his poor soul, that he will realize how much she is hurting and suddenly change for the better.

It’s because a normal person cannot comprehend that the “caring and loving” side is actually the mask, which is on non-stop except for the nightmarish moments when it slips and the true personality “shines trough”.

The victims of psychopaths are usually more compassionate than an average human, and more vulnerable. My heart aches for them. To trust people so and to end up meeting the darkest corners of a human soul, I find that very tragic.

On the other hand, I learned not to pity the psychopaths. I have nothing but disgust for them. I would put them all on a secluded island and let them destroy each other. The world would not be perfect without them, but the benefits would be enormous.

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Scientist say that psychopaths can’t be changed. That their brain is wired in a wrong way. That almost makes it not their fault that they are heartless. Psychopaths love this idea. They generally hate taking responsibility for their actions.

But we also know for a fact that psychopaths are not mentally disturbed. They are not delusional and they are not stupid. They can easily understand when another living being is being hurt and they could refrain themselves from purposefully inflicting pain on them. If only they wanted to.

Unfortunately, they do not want to. And they don’t want to change a thing about themselves-they are in love with themselves. Not only do they see themselves as great, they believe that they are perfect. Why would anyone want to change that? They see other people as idiots. They do not even hear others, let alone think about the criticisms that some “idiots” expect them to act upon.

But things are not that simple, because sometimes they do exactly what others ask of them. Everything comes down to: what they can gain from others. They pretend to make a compromise to achieve their goal. Once people believe that they are changed, they strike again. Kind of like a mutated virus.

Their true, evil self remains unchanged. It can only be “improved”-they can become better manipulators and regain the trust of their victims.

In his book Without Conscience, Dr. Robert Hare claims that psychopath mellow down with age. They get tired of scamming and manipulating, so to speak. But who wants to wait for decades for these lowlifes to become (or appear to be) decent people?

Don’t ever let yourself be fooled. I know exactly how it might feel: you question yourself as a human being, hate being so cold and distanced, while the psychopath is putting the show of “caring and loving”. Always remind yourself that you are being laughed at behind your back by this monster who values nothing in this life and only looks for ways to satisfy his/her needs. Like a beast. Or a robot. Or a f^%%$ virus.





  • Lavinia

    spot on! your words are so true I can barely read this post without cringing

  • Karina

    Most psychopaths don’t change. But I did I am. Somewhere around 6 years old I started manipulating everyone around me, cruel, violant, a convincing kid, and way too smart for my age. A couple years ago I got caught in lies that caused me to lose my family then I was institutionalized. I don’t agree that psychopaths don’t have feelings. It’s very hard being me. Constantly paranoid, no self esteem, living in a lie. I’m tearing myself apart. I do love. Deeply. I think its when I realized I broke my mothers heart after 20 years, I saw who I was. I’m set on a path to improve myself and I’ve been doing very good. I still have a major lieng problem but I’m getting a lot better. When you think of a psychopath it’s terrifying. We shouldn’t have people like that. But monsters are created. Put more energy in stopping bullying and abuse. And drug use during pregnancy. That’s how people like us come about. I accidently made 4 best friends throughout my life. From different towns. I say accidentally because I didn’t realize that all of those girls were psychopaths. Maybe we were drawn to eachother. Now that I’m older I realize who they are. And I also realize just like me. That they’re families turned them into who they are. So if you’re one of the girls think I g a psychopath can change. Leave him. Or her. Because my dad made me like this. He was abusive and manipulative. My mom was too scared to leave him. He tied her to a chair in the basement and held a gun to her head. He said if she were to leave him he’d kill her kids. She didn’t know when she left for work he was beating us too.

  • steve

    This article makes me laugh. I deal with this everyday of my life. Being somewhere between a narcissistic sociopath and a psychopath or maybe both. Its true that most of the time I only care about myself, and the times that I think I love my family I may only be trying to manipulate myself. My situation may be a mix of both genetics and my shitty life growing up, I don’t really know, but you just told me that I should be put on an island to destroy others because I disgust you. I was on here trying to figure out what I can do to help myself and I find this terrible article. Who’s the psycho. You must have watched to many horror movies and formed this opinion that I can’t be civil. Sure I probably do it for all the wrong reasons, but I do it. Maybe I am just manipulating you now. I don’t even know lol

    • crawfordcomeaux

      I’m working on a programming language for the brain to change how mine works. According to the neuroscience & math behind the model, there’s a path one brain can take to get from its current state to just about any other state. Psychopathy, in my model, can be learned and can be unlearned. If you or anyone else who identifies as a sociopath or psychopath is reading this and wants to change, please email me at this user name at Gmail. I want to help anyone looking to change how their brain works. I view shame, blame, and judgment as evolutionary mechanisms we can choose to evolve beyond and I’m working toward doing so within myself. I’m saying that in the hopes you’ll reach out to me because by helping you, I learn more about myself.

    • MilanP


  • india wale

    I am a psychopath I know that but u cannot say me to be disgusting u see we don’t want anyone to hurt but it’s u who wantedly want us to be good,hard working what should I say then so I lie
    Better stop asking favours and don’t make any one who give a treat or helps u a freind
    Start thinking like us otherwise we will definitely use u ppl
    U know how I became a psychopath because I started listening all nonsense from u ppl like my parents,girlfrends wants me to be something they couldn’t then why should they that’s why I make them big fools and keep safer from this world

  • 3712849912

    I need Jesus. I’m a screw up.

  • B.

    Much like Steve, I’m on here looking for ways for psychopathic behaviour to improve – mostly because I’m starting to realise I may very well be one. On one hand I am a manipulator, impulsive and find making lasting intimate relationships (including new friendships) difficult or generally baffling. It is not as simple as “Well hey, they are a psychopath, they are completely lacking empathy’. Many can feel, or “fake” it, without being aware of how superficial it is. It makes them feel empty, and confused, despite another large part feel like they’re the greatest person ever. Some things are intentional, but I’m certain that not every above-average spectrum psychopath is out to drag everyone down. Care and improvement is vital to improve yourself if you still have the desire to be loved and understood. I don’t think it applies to the higher register psychopaths necessarily; those who are truly lacking empathy. However for those who have some socially acceptable traits, encouragement of those can create better people, I think. Rather than ostracizing and making them (or us, I can’t be sure) feel like there’s no other way. Real dick move.